The Truth About Coaching: You Only Get Out What You Are Willing to Put In.

Getting the Most from Coaching

You’ve probably heard the old joke:

“How many coaches does it take to change a lightbulb?”

Well, the answer is just one, but only if the lightbulb wants to change.

Often, coaching is set up not because someone asks for it, but because a manager thinks they need it. The intention is good, but my experience tells me that if the person doesn’t feel ready, the results are easy to predict. The coach ends up working with someone who isn’t ready to move forward.

When it comes to getting the most from coaching, I believe willingness matters more than anything else.

Why Coaching Sometimes Fails

In my view, coaching often fails to deliver when:

• The person doesn’t want coaching.

• They think they’re already good enough.

• They feel comfortable where they are.

• They’re unclear about what they want to achieve.

• They’re defensive or suspicious.

• They feel like they’re being "fixed."

In these cases, it doesn’t matter how good the coach is. It doesn’t matter how many sessions are booked. The coaching won’t land properly.

I think if you want coaching to work, you have to get the starting point right.

Coaching Shouldn’t Feel Like Punishment

One of the biggest mistakes I see managers make is treating coaching like a punishment.

"You’re missing your target. You need coaching."

"You’re losing deals. Let’s get you a coach."

This makes coaching sound like something bad. It makes people feel like they’ve failed. No wonder they end up defensive or switched off.

I believe coaching should feel positive. It should be seen as a chance to get better, not a way to fix something broken.

When you introduce coaching in the right way, you give people a real reason to engage properly.

Readiness is Everything

You can’t coach someone who doesn’t want to be coached. You can’t coach someone who doesn’t believe they need to change.

But you can coach someone who:

• Knows they have room to improve.

• Believes they can do better.

• Wants help thinking in new ways.

• Has a clear goal in mind.

• Cares about their own growth.

In my experience, getting the most from coaching always starts with making sure the person actually wants it, not just ticking a box because their manager told them to.

Before coaching starts, I usually ask a few simple questions:

• "What would you like to get better at?"

• "Where do you think you’ve got the biggest chance to improve?"

• "If you could be 10 percent better at one thing, what would it be?"

• "What’s something you know you should work on but haven’t yet?"

If they can’t answer clearly, they’re probably not ready.If they shrug or say "I think I’m fine," they’re DEFINITELY not ready.If they’re specific, honest, even a little frustrated, then they’re probably ready to move forward.

Preparing Properly for Coaching

To get the best out of coaching, it’s not enough to just book the sessions and hope for the best. You’ve got to help people prepare properly. I always suggest making sure they’re clear about a few important things first:

Question	Why it matters
"What do you want to achieve?"	Gives the coaching a clear focus.
"What skills or habits do you want to improve?"	Keeps it practical and grounded.
"What’s stopping you right now?"	Helps the coach know where to start.
"How open are you to trying new ideas?"	Shows how ready they are for change.
"What happens if you don’t change?"	Reminds them why it matters.

Starting coaching without these answers is like setting off on a journey without knowing where you’re going. You might have an interesting trip, but you probably won’t arrive anywhere useful.

I believe getting the most from coaching means having a clear goal in mind before the first session even begins.

Being Realistic About Results

Another common trap I see is expecting results too quickly.

Some managers and even some individuals get impatient.

• "They’ve had two sessions. Why isn’t their performance better?"

• "They’ve been coached for a month. Why isn’t their confidence higher?"

Coaching is about changing how people think, building new habits, and seeing themselves differently.That takes time.

I always remind people:

• Coaching is a process, not a quick fix.

• Change happens over time, not overnight.

Good coaching builds deep, lasting change. It can feel slow at first, but it’s far more powerful in the long run.

The Main Thing is Willingness Leads to Growth

Coaching can be powerful. It can help someone reach a new level of performance. It can open new ways of thinking.

But only if they want it.

If they don’t:

• Progress will be slow.

• Sessions will feel flat.

• Little will change.

If they do:

• Sessions will have energy.

• New ideas will come more easily.

• Change will happen naturally.

The difference is huge.

Before you arrange coaching, I believe you always need to ask: Does this person want to change?

If the answer is yes, coaching can make a real difference.

Final Thought: Coaching is a Two-Way Effort

Getting the most from coaching takes effort from both sides.

• The coach brings structure, support, and the right questions.

• The individual brings honesty, energy, and action.

When both sides work properly together, you get real growth.

If you’re a manager, my advice is simple.Don’t send people to coaching just because you think they should go. Help them see the value for themselves first.

If you’re someone about to start coaching, ask yourself honestly.Are you ready to think differently, try new things, and challenge yourself?

If you are, you’re about to make one of the best investments in your career.

Coaching doesn’t change people.People change themselves, with a coach alongside them.